My husband, the Snickers commercial

It only took me 25 years to catch on.

25 years of being defensive and overly sensitive. Taking things personally that really weren't personal.

You see, my husband and I work together. He's a chiropractor and I manage the office. Ok, I hear it all the time "Wow - I could never work with my husband." To which I nod, sweetly smile, and say "I could never work with your husband either." 

But that aside, we have had our challenging moments. Often around 12:50 pm. We break for lunch at 1:00 and, if there's no patient in the office, around 12:50 he starts hovering. "What are you doing?" "Are you done with that yet?" "How long will you be on the phone?" "I'm hungry, let's go before I get a headache." And so on.....

My response usually begins with a rumbling volcano deep in my gut that periodically erupts. Not every day, but far too often. I take his questioning personally like he’s criticizing my job performance, or my wifely abilities, or my character. Sometimes it's due to his tone of voice. Other times it's because I'm wound up tight in defensive mode ready to uncoil and pounce as soon as he opens his mouth. And frankly, if I don't say something in response, I'm thinking it. 

Except for that day last month. 

In he came, and with my fingers on the keyboard and my face to the monitor, my gut started tightening. The questions started, but for some reason known only to God, my reply was remarkably different. The volcano ebbed as I slowly turned in my chair to face him,

     “You’re a Snickers commercial hon. You’re just not you when you’re hungry.”

With the realization that the guy is hungry not angry at me, the pressure cooker valve released as the tension subsided and it was laughter that erupted. 

And now we have a new tagline whenever stresses arise. 

..

Snickers Commercial with Joe Pesci and Don Rickles

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MixNh9L7G5M

"And 'don’t sin by letting anger control you.' Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. ... Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Eph. 4:26-27, 31-32

How about you? Do you find yourself at the ready to defend even if you're not under attack? How many arguments could be avoided if we sought to extend grace rather than dig our heels in? 

Thanks Tony for letting me share our story! 

Joy is a choice

When the Apostle Paul was in a Roman prison, he wrote several letters. His prison was no Ritz Hotel, and he was chained to a Roman guard night and day. His freedom robbed, he nevertheless continued on his mission. He opens his letter to the Philippian church by thanking God and praying for them. Then he goes on to say:


To keep reading and for a great tip on how to cultivate joy in troubled times, click here where I'm at Laced With Grace.

When must we NOT show mercy?

When must we NOT show mercy?

This is the first, but surely not the last, you will read about my gardening experiences. I find so many illustrations about the Christian life when I am tending my garden. Maybe that’s why it all began in a garden.

The truth is: I have a love/hate relationship with my garden. Oh, how I love the blooms, the fragrance, the sheer beauty that shows its face each spring. Oh, how I hate the seemingly endless care that it requires. And to be honest, I’m not the most gifted gardener. But, I try.

Today, I was attacking an overgrown hydrangea with the pruning shears. Perhaps “attacking” is too strong a word, but I think the hydrangea would disagree. From the plant’s point of view, I seemed just vicious, showing no mercy. But in fact, I was saving its life. There were shoots of dead wood, and if left intact, they would have a negative impact on the rest of the plant, as well as the other plants in the garden, especially the peony next door.

At times, I feared I was too aggressive, but I’ve had this hydrangea a long time. We’ve been through this before, and from past experience, I know that this seemingly harsh treatment is very beneficial. My hydrangea rewards me every summer with a bounty of blooms because with the life-sucking shoots gone, its energy can be directed toward new life.

As Christians, we are instructed to show mercy. Jesus says “God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” (Matt. 5:7). Mercy is the very hallmark of the Christian. But there are times when what appears to be mercy isn’t. 

When a friend or loved one is engaged in dangerous behavior, they need boundaries and consequences, not an enabler. When sin is crouching at our door, it needs a swift kick right out that door. When envy or bitterness or resentment start slithering under our skin, we need to uproot and destroy it. Just a few verses after Jesus teaches about mercy, He says, 

“If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matt. 5:39) 

Ouch, well, that doesn’t seem too merciful to the eye, does it? No, but sin is like gangrene. It may start small, but unless it is amputated and removed, it will spread causing death and destruction.

So the truly merciful thing to do is nip it in the bud, just like my hydrangea. 

Oklahoma Hope

"So after you have suffered a little while, He will restore, support, and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation." 1 Peter 5:10

This verse above was how I ended my last post - a post about rubbish being restored. Who knew? Who knew what devastation was to occur within 36 hours of that post? Only God. 

It's hard, no it’s impossible, for me to hold it together seeing the images and hearing the stories from Oklahoma. The children. The destruction. The seemingly randomness of it all. Why were some spared while others were obliterated? 

To read the rest, please click over to Circles of Faith where I am a contributing writer. 

From Rubbish to Restored

SLOW DOWN!!! My husband Tony shrieked as I drove down the street. I thought there was mortal danger ahead and nearly caused some myself, but no - he wanted to scan the yard sale we were passing.

And that's why I don't drive when he's in the car. 

But this week, he was passing a house in lovely Franklin Lakes when he spotted an amp sitting at the curb. Being the master guitar player (and garbage picker – you didn’t hear that from me) that he is, he couldn’t resist. He stopped, and the owner told him that the amp was broken and Tony was free to take it. And being the master Mr. Fixit that he is, he did just that. He took it home and repaired it to work perfectly! 

This is life with Tony. 

Sometimes we feel like that amp - broken, useless, good for nothing but the garbage heap. At one time, we were new, clean and fresh, but life was hard. We might have been treated badly. Perhaps we were ignored or overlooked. Maybe we made some bad choices that hurt others or ourselves. And now we feel wounded or inadequate.

We feel like the amp out on the curb might feel – broken, defeated, alienated, separated from what could have been.

What we need is life with Jesus, the original Mr. Fixit. He takes our broken pieces and makes them like new.

Throughout Scripture, God restores His people, their health, their wealth, their hopes. He restored nations and order. He restored  “the crushed spirit of the humble and revived courage of  the repentant” (Is 57:15). He brought “sparkle to eyes” (Ps 13:3)

Jesus comforted the alienated and the outcast. He healed the infirmed. He made people useful and vibrant again. And He still does this today. If we let Him.

Will you let Him in today?  Will you enter into life with Jesus? How can I pray for you, beloved?

  

“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.” 1 Peter 5:10

And we have a winner!

Thanks so much for the entries to win the $25 Amazon gift card! I LOVE connecting with you, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your wedding stories from the hysterical (getting left at the reception with no ride home!) to the misty-eyed (a 9/11 firefighter's daughter wore his ring in her bridal bouquet to have him walk her down the aisle). I'm so grateful and with permission may share some of the stories with you.

The sad part is that there can only be one winner. I mean with all sincerity that each of you are winners to me!! My receptionist, Stef, picked the winning ticket, and it's --- drum roll please! --- Shannon Romein! Congratulations to Shannon ~ and blessings to all of you who entered as well as those who didn't!

Last Day for Contest and Giveaway!

Today's the last day to enter my $25 Amazon gift card giveaway contest. Thanks so much for your support this week and in the past. You bless me!

Click here for the link on how to enter.
http://www.eternitycafe.blogspot.com/2013/05/a-celebration-contest-and-giveaway.html

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